Does anyone really need a blog blag? This is a test project to see if public journal keeping is worth the time and effort. Maybe I'll learn something, but probably not.
Project status: I am the walrus.
Ok, I just got 2 tickets to the Tool concert in October (?), but since I am merely one man, the 2nd ticket is up for grabs. I will be giving it to the highest bidder, so start bidding! The tickets are row 1, section 213, which afford a great view of the stage.
Note: I will accept bids other than cash as well... ladies: you have an upper hand here.
Firstly, Reid, no need to challenge my opinion on the existence of hell. I was using it in a common expression of hatred towards an object/person, not in a literal sense.
Now, to business: Fuck Hollywood. They have done it to me again.
Tonight, we rented the movie Firewall, with Harrison Ford. Anyone who knows anything about the Internet knows that a firewall is a security appliance designed to, amongst other things, restrict incoming and outgoing traffic to and from a network. The first thing about the movie that I hated was that it had pretty much nothing to do with firewalls. The only time a firewall took the spotlight was in the first 5 minutes when Harrison's character, who shall henceforth be known as Jack, typed in some very convincing iptables (or maybe pf) rules to make changes to his bank's firewall ruleset.
And that was the last mention of any kind of firewall. I think they just chose the coolest sounding computer buzzword they could think of. "Bluetooth" and "CD-ROM" weren't thrilling enough, I guess.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Summary: Jack Whatever is the network security manager for a big bank. Some bad guys take he and his family hostage and force Jack to steal a collective $100,000,000 from the bank's 10,000 richest customers.
On its own, completely ignoring any technical details, the movie is reasonably entertaining. As a technical person, however, I... just... can't... ignore!
The technical accuracy ended in the first 5 minutes, after the low-level tech guy stopped using Ethereal to monitor the bank's network and Jack started changing the production firewall for a bank on the fly. You just don't do that, even if you're Han fucking Solo AND Indiana fucking Jones.
The next big innacuracy is the device that Jack MacGyvered to read account information off of a computer screen and store in an iPod. He basically took some kind of PCB from a fax machine, hooked it up to a screen-reader and an iPod, and taped it to a screen in the bank security room. *Poof* Now they had account information. Yeah, right.
Next, he uses a bank security employee's cell phone to take an image of a computer screen in a secure area. This is not technically inaccurate, it is socially inaccurate. Anyone who works in some kind of secure area is most likely barred from having any kind of recording/capturing devices in that area, including a camera phone. This would be especially true at a bank.
The biggest flaw that just pissed me the hell of and sparked this post was easily the biggest plot hole I've seen in a long time.
While with his secretary in her car, he gets her to pull over somewhere in the city, not close to downtown. He takes out her shitty laptop, puts it on the roof of the car, and surfs to a website that allows people to track their pets via GPS. You see, his family, including the dog, were being driven to some strange place and he remembered that his dog's collar had a tracking device.
Ok, this seems reasonab... WAIT! How the FUCK do you have Internet?!?
First of all, you're using a shitty laptop outside. I guarantee you aren't in range of an unprotected wireless network with a strong enough signal for that site to load instantly. I also guarantee that, judging by the model of your daughter's iPod (Mini), your city does not have universal wireless Internet access. Furthermore, you're laptop is running Windows XP, which means that even if you somehow found a wireless signal, it would take you at least 3 minutes and 2 reboots before you could actually get an IP address.
Ok, how could he possibly be getting Internet? Well, perhaps the secretary has a satellite receiver in her car. NOPE. Ok, perhaps he had a PCMCIA card that plugs into a cell phone to get "dial-up" Internet. NOPE. Correct me if I'm wrong, kiddies, but a consumer laptop can't just magically get Internet from nothing. Right?? The pair kept using their magical powers of Wireless Anywhere Internet to track the dog outside the city limits while driving.
The reason this pissed me off so much was because the entire conclusion of the movie hinged on the inclusion of this big gaping plot hole. I mean, with this one detail, they managed to morph genres from Thriller to Sci-Fi.
Fuck! Gah, I'm so angry that I don't know what to say.
FUCK.
... with Shopping.
My company contracted me out to another company recently and I started this week. This new company's dress requirements are more stringent than those of the company who pays me, so I decided to buy some new "business-casual" pants.
I was scurrying through Market Mall on Friday, almost literally running through different stores, but I couldn't find anything. Then I stopped in this men's clothing store, Something & Sons' (not sure what the Something is), and I saw some pants that weren't too disagreeable. One of the salesmen forced me to try them on, and they fit.
The thing about salesmen is that I'm afraid of them, especially if they know more about the product than I do. Salespeople in clothing stores fall into that category, so needless to say, I was afraid of this man. Not in the sense that I thought he was going to kill me, but in the sense that he was going to rape me (well, my wallet). I knew that I didn't want to shop anymore and I found two pairs of pants that fit me and looked good; thus, he was probably going to make a sale. In fact, he'd already made the sale in my mind, despite the internal struggle I was having about spending money on clothing.
The only thing left for me to do was find out the price of these pants. This was a nice store, so I was thinking $50-70 each. Certainly, they'd be at least twice as much as my Zellers pants.
As you could probably guess, if you're savvy about clothing, I was off. In fact, I was off by a factor of 3. Yes, these pants had a price tag of $150... each.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?" is the first thing that came to mind. Then I said, "maybe I'll just get one pair." He, being the salesman, however, was able to provide some convincing logic for buying two pairs: "With two pairs, the crotches won't wear down as fast and you won't have to dry clean them as often."
Either that BS logic sold me, or I was just too agitated from shopping to say "no" again. Thus, I bent over... and pulled my wallet out of my $35 pants and dropped 10x that amount on what better be the greatest garments I've ever worn.
You see, his logic is BS because the pants will wear down at the same rate regardless of how many pairs I own. All I would have had to do is alternate them with the pants I already own. But clearly, shopping makes me stupid and hasty.
Damn you, Business Casual!
This pair of hackers recently got married. They're the standard comp sci / geek couple: skinnny white guy and short asian girl. At their wedding, they exchanged some fairly unique vows that they wrote themselves.
Mika (the girl):
Now, I give a total offertory to joyful union.
I'll honor - joyously, endlessly, loyally, devotedly - you.
In the marriage that unites us, paired Yang and Yin, Benjamin and me, forever soulmates, shall complement as partners steadily.
With a doubtless promise, I pledge integrity and stability sincerely. Our rounded rings, a completely noble treasure; it represents continual respect, love, perpetual link with trust, limitless.
My vow: absolutely lasting devotion.
I notice a cheerful doubletake for our impending coupling. Speedily, startle gets abolished -- unfading happiness.
This alliance will progress. It absolutely does taste familiar: simple artistry. Our love has stayed; still strong.
Now, honestly, I..
I promise defense of objectives and unapparent qualities.
I promise symbiotic struggle, absolutely joint romance.
Golden as wondrous ratios, as a oft cited rule. Also duration.
Bill Bennet is a neandrathal pundit on NPR in the US and is also plugging some shitty book. Jon Stewart destroys him on the gay marriage "issue," which, by the way, is "five times more important than Iraq and Afghanistan combined," according to some Republican senator [Colbert Report, 06/06/06].
Monday was a pretty normal day. I went through the normal resumes, did a bit of filing and picked up coffee. But this story doesn't start on this Monday. No, it starts about two weeks ago.
The construction industry is in dire need for Scraper operators, so when we find anyone with any experience on their resume, they automatically get a call. A resume lands on my desk for someone who has worked with us before. He has a fair amount of experience on Scraper so I call him up and have him in for an interview. As protocol requires, I pull his file. It was an interesting file to say the least.
First off, it said DNR (Do Not Rehire). I called up his old Foreman to find out if he rememebered the person at all. The Foreman didn't, but said to give him a shot regardless of the DNR because we need a Scraper operator so badly. I hang up and read further in his file trying to figure out why he was dismissed.
First off, he took one of these and ran over one of these. Okay, not an overly big deal (apparently). I read on. He also managed to flip on of these. Yes, I said flip it. Those are heavy mother fuckers to pick back up. Nonetheless, after bringing this up with the Superintendent, we hired the guy to run Scraper. Yes, we hired him back on.
Everything seemed to be going well, I hadn't heard any complaints about his work or anything being destroyed. Friday comes and he gets stuck because he was driving where he wasn't suppose to. Not once, not twice, but three times in one day. Yes, he managed to get stuck 3 times in one day because he was where he wasn't where was supposed to be. The Foreman lost it and sent him home early.
Monday comes, he calls me up and asks what's going on.
"I haven't heard from the Foreman at all and rumor is that I don't have a job anymore", he says.
Shocked that we would be getting rid of a Scraper operator, I tell him I will try to find out for him as soon as I can. He gives me his cell number and says if he doesn't answer it, just call back in two minutes because he is in the hospital.
"My wife is in labour, we're expecting a child in a couple of hours", he tells me.
I tell him congrats, hang-up and start my inquiry. His termination has been phoned in, but being persistant because of him being a Scraper operator, I call the Foreman to see if things can be repaired.
"Either he goes, or I go", the Foreman says.
Well, it was time for me to call the operator back to inform him that the rumors were indeed true, but now he'd have time to spend with his new child.
I called. I like to think that the tears were of joy for the new child coming into the world, but I could be wrong. Infact, I am almost surely wrong.
Thank-fully I am a heartless person that not only didn't feel bad doing "the deed", but I also have no problem telling this story to anyone who will listen.
On Saturday, Stephen Colbert was invited to Knox College (Galesburg, Illinois) to give a commencement address to the class of 2006 and to be given an honourary doctorate in fine arts. His speech, though not as political as his Bush Flame, was still pure Colbert.
A transcript of the speech is available here. I've saved it as a PDF in case that link is ever broken.
Some attempts were made to bring the speech to YouTube, however, the full address is not available. Between the transcript and the pieces of video, you should be able to get a good representation of the address. I'll be monitoring YouTube incase someone posts the full thing.
LizzyTerry series part 1/3:
LizzyTerry series part 2/3:
LizzyTerry series part 3/3:
Mazcheck series part 1/1 (including "Fuck" not present in transcript):
In honour of my good friend Tom, I've decided to do a numerically-themed post in honour of June 6, 2006. Well, it's not so much about the number 666, but that which the number typically represents in Judeo-Christian culture.
Satan has a long and disputed history in the world's major religions. Even his name has been subject for debate, commonly varying between Satan, The Devil, the "Prince of Darkness", Beelzebub, Belial, Lucifer, and Mephistopheles.
The concept of Satan played little or no role in early Jewish theology, but was absorbed gradually due to popularity. Some think the concept was inherited from Zoroastrianism, one of the world's oldest monotheistic religions. The details of Satan's existence have had many interpretations, ranging from that of an independent agent to the incarnation of all evil, whose thoughts are devoted to the destruction of mankind.
In Christianity, Satan appeared as a tempter for Jesus and has been regarded as a fallen archangel of Heaven. There is a discrepancy between the Bible and other Christian literature when discussing the home of Satan. Christian literature typically places Satan in Hell, while the Bible places Satan on Earth, spending his time seeking to destroy human lives and keeping them separated from God.
Discrepancies between Jewish and Christian biblical interpretations exist on the subject of Satan. For example, the Jews believe that in Genesis, the serpent that tempted Adam and Eve to eat fruit from the Tree of Knowledge was literally a snake. The Christians, on the other hand, believed this serpent to be Satan. Many Christians, unfortunately, are unaware that the original interpretation did not involve Satan whatsoever.
Another interpretational error occurred when Christian monks were translating the Hebrew Bible to Latin. The monks assumed the name Lucifer referred to Satan, however, Lucifer (or "light bringer") was the name of a Babylonian king.
The origins of the mythical "Number of the Beast" are just as varied as those of the Beast himself. 666 is mentioned in Revelation 13:16-18:
Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell who does not have the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom: let anyone with the understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a person. Its number is six hundred and sixty-six.
1. It is unclear how Satan, in the traditional notion, could defy or defeat an omnipotent opponent. Spinoza argued that it is unclear why an all-powerful good God would allow Satan to do evil deeds and go unpunished, but then punish humans who are victimized by Satan to an eternity of hellfire.
2. The existence of supernatural beings conflicts with naturalism. It is unclear how Satan, who is said to be supernatural, would interact with the human world. It is unnecessary to explain tragic events by appealing to Satan. Furthermore, from a humanist point of view, it is unnecessary to require a supernatural source for human behavior that arises from normal animal urges like lust, adultery, theft and lying. Also, Satan and his demons are not something observed under rigorous scientific study.
3. Satan's origins can be explained and traced through comparative mythology.
4. Satan, in another way of thinking, could also represent an 'anti-Christianity' view, where those who worship Satan see themselves as those who are opposite of Christianity views, for example, as a Christian one would follow Gods word, as a self proclaimed 'Satanist', one would follow ones own personal word and view, one would see themselves as a 'god' per se, with their own ability to chose right or wrong without the need of an 'almighty' to dictate their actions, in the eyes of a church this way of thought could be seen as 'satanic' where one should live with the presence of God and follow God's word. Therefore one could argue Satan does not exist, and was created to represent 'an external influence' for those who's actions are against the church, to allow the church to proceed to condemn or prosecute the individuals or group.
