Friday, January 05, 2007

A collection of pointless stories

Posted by Johnny

Story 1 - The Train
I was riding the train this morning and when we got into downtown, this crazy lady started saying things like, "Fuck! Why isn't this train going faster?" and, "Jesus Christ, this can't be happening to me. Go fucking faster! God damn it!" It was weird, then I got off the train.

Story 2 - Oasis ripped off Mr. Bungle
I heard an Oasis song yesterday, called "Let There Be Love," from the album they released last year and the intro is pretty much a direct rip-off of the Mr. Bungle song, "Retrovertigo," which was released in 1999. The Bungle song is way better.

Story 3 - Pool Last Night
Reid and I played pool last night. It was fun.

Story 4 - Substitute Prof (a.k.a. Meta Storytelling 101)
I'm going to tell you a story. In second year, my Signals & Transforms prof was away for a week, so one of her PhD students filled in for her. He decided to tell us a story about his undergrad experience, the details of which I cannot recall. He did, however, prefix the story by saying, "I'm going to tell you a story," then he told the story, which had no point whatsoever, then he said, "So, that was a good story. I'm glad I told it." And so were we. So, that was a good story. I'm glad I told it.

13 comments:

murray said...

Story 1 - I want to know why she was in a hurry. Or was she just crazy? Do crazy people ride trains? I liked this story.

Story 2 - Oasis is still around?

Story 3 - This one needs work. Atmosphere? Were there any cute people there? When I play pool, I look for cute people. No, I do that all the time.

Story 4 - My head exploded, but it was a good story.

Post script. Nobody needs a blog. But I'm glad people have them, because I like to comment on them randomly like I'm doing now.

Question. Signals and Transforms? What are you studying - electronics engineering or maths or something? It sounds terribly difficult.

Johnny said...

Story 1 - I have no idea why she was in a hurry, because she wasn't talking to anyone in particular, and therefore, I'm fairly sure she is crazy. And I think trains / public transit is the crazy person's #1 transportation choice.

Story 2 - Apparently.

Story 3 - The waitress was cute. I'm trying to get my friend Kevin to ask her out, but he is understandably reluctant to hit on a waitress while she is on the job. He's not a creepy guy at all, but you don't want to start on the wrong foot.

Story 4 - Sweet.

Signals and Transforms - a course that taught us how to perform various operations (and their reverse operations) on time-domain signals. Such operations include Laplace transforms, and the ever-popular Fourier transform, which is used to transform a time domain signal into a frequency domain signal (used everywhere, from audio equalizers to cell phones).

I'm studying software engineering, but they made us take that course for some reason. They also made us take things like Chem, Physics, and Mechanics, none of which I have used since.

Johnny said...

Oh, I just remembered another thing about that course. One of the chapters in our textbook was called "Discrete Time Linear Time Invariant Systems". I remember this because it used the word "time" twice in the title. Another good story.

Reid said...

Did Jacqui write this post for you?

Johnny said...

If she didn't write it directly, she was my inspiration.

k said...

Was the waitress K.B. from High School?

murray said...

The good thing about all those other units is you might find another subject that really interests you. It's good to have a fallback.

I'm a software "engineer" -- I use the term loosely because I don't have a degree. I studied electronics for a while and had a unit about Fourier transforms and all that multiplexing stuff. I think it scared me away from electronics. I just wasn't smart enough.

Kevin said...

Dude, Let There Be Love I distincly remember playing it for you....(or maybe someone else)...anyways, it is a total BEATLES rip off. COMPLETE BEATLES RIP OFF.

Aw shit, I was just clipping my fingernails without thinking, and now the clippings are all over.

Kevin said...

Oh man, I just went back and read your meta-storytelling (forwhateverreasoniddin'tbeforemaybebecauseiminafuckedupfridaymoodandyetonlyhadoneglassofwinesofar) but...wait, what was I talking about...

Meta-storytelling. Yea, that was a good story. I'd like it even more if it were recursive. I suppose it could be, I could tell someone about your story.

Jacqui Sullivan said...

I'm not going to take any comments personally...especially the ones that are clearly making fun of the fact that sometimes my stories have no point. Maybe I'll just stop telling stories altogether! Then who will you mock?? Who?? You'll regret it!! You WILL regret it!

Kevin said...

Okay, I settled down and read the rest of this all.

1. There is a crazy chick I've seen a couple times that sings to herself. The first time it happens, you are like...what the hell. Then you realize she's just one of em retards.

2. I believe I covered this.

3. That waitress is definitely hot. Or cute...or a hot cutie, or a cute hottie. Cute hottie, is how I describe her. Cute as in she looks like she'd be fun and not a bitch, but hot as in...head turning. And it's not like I ever even hit on any girls anyways, nevermind talk to. I'm not going to start hitting on waitresses.

4. Fourier transform...of my cat! I remember doing some of that. I think that I skipped a couple lectures on waves and wave theory or whatnot. But luckily the final exam was pretty much "Here's 6 topics we covered in detail throughout the course, write a page about 3 of your choice".

And Kristen, you've seen how good I am with names and stuff from high school, and faces. Initials are no help.

And Jacqui, please continue to tell your stories. It gives me something to read while at work. Same for all of you...daily updates plzkthnxby

Johnny said...

Ok. Kristen, it's not K.B. I don't think she works there anymore. This one is a petite brunette type.

Murray - I agree. I'm not smart enough for electronics, or anything hardware-related. I think it isn't abstract enough for me.

Kevin - Almost everything Oasis does can be traced to the Beatles. I was just talking about the first 8 bars of the song, which were almost a direct, non cited quote. Also, I was toying with making story 4 recursive, but tossed that idea out.

Jacqui - Please continue telling stories, because if you stop, I'll be the only one they all make fun of. I mean, I don't have a problem with that, but it's nice to shift the focus every once in a while.

Kevin said...

Yea, so I listened to the first bit of the two songs...and see what you mean. Not that the first 8 bars are anything special, but an uncanny resemblance.