Ah, humanity...

Posted by Johnny at 10:30 a.m.

Is this real? I highly doubt it, but it's damn funny.

The screenshot of the original source material is here, but I have painstakingly typed it out for your proper enjoyment.

This is entitled Burnt Cooter.

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (i'm 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and we were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes I help her with homework. I helped her on this english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ...anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "don't worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So I gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so I microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?

I believe that this is fake for two reasons.

1. I don't know anyone stupid enough to have sex for N64 games
2. I don't know anyone stupid enough to microwave butter for 8 minutes, regardless of where they intend to put it.