Things pissing me off today

Posted by Johnny at 9:25 a.m.

Windows Automatic Update
If I tell you that I don't want to restart my computer right now, STOP ASKING! God damn it! Every 15 minutes that stupid countdown timer comes up and says "your computer will restart in 5 minutes if you don't interact with this dialog box" and if you don't press "Restart Later," it will restart your computer immediately. What if I went to the washroom and couldn't get back in time to press that button? Would you kill all my programs and force me to lose unsaved work? You would, you asshole, I just know it.

Fuck the asshole manager/lawyer who decided that a major sacrifice in usability was worth the 0% security improvement gained by this so called helpful reminder.

Headphones and Transit
Dear people on the train, please buy some FUCKING BETTER EARPHONES. If I can hear your music, it's either too loud or you are wearing them backwards. I wouldn't be surprised in either case because I've been around train folk for a long time, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it's too damn loud.

Fat white chick: Not only do I not want to listen to techno at 8am, I also don't want to see you dance like your spending a night at the Roxbury. When you bob your head like that, your neck jiggles - it's fucking hawt. Fuck, look what you made me do - I replaced the letter o with aw. I hope you realize that it was done for the purposes of sarcasm.

Asian hipster dude with massive head: If you insist on blasting Kelly Clarkson and miscellaneous Asian power balladeers through your $10 Samsung ear buds, I will have to bring a power drill on the train and run it at full power and hopefully channel the noise directly into your ear drums. This will spare me and the other 20 people within earshot of your god awful music from the vomit inducing pain that you have chosen to inflict upon us, and will hopefully quicken your inevitable hearing loss. It's only fair. By the way, the 80s called and they want their guitar licks, reverb, and mullets back.

The following headphones are 20 dollars and they are sound isolating. This means you can keep your god damned noise confined in your own aural cavities so that your poor eardrums are the only ones assaulted. I spent $200 on mine so that my god awful noise would be kept to myself. All I ask is that you do 1/10th of what I did.


Slow-Walkers
When you're downtown during rush hour, please realize that most people want to get to work in reasonable time and will therefore walk at a reasonably brisk pace. We're not trying to break records, but we also don't want to lollygag around. So if you're too fat or too old to walk at rush hour pace, keep to the right. It's that simple - just keep to the right so that people with fully functioning legs that don't have to support 300 extra pounds can walk past you at twice the speed. Maybe you should try walking a bit faster too for yourself. It's decent exerci.. FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE GAAARRAAAAHHHH.