Converge kicked ass

Posted by Johnny at 3:39 p.m.

First of all, Converge put on a great show on Wednesday night. It was the first concert I've been to that was completely devoid of smoke/drugs (that I could see). Most of the attendees and all of the performers were straight-edge types (substance-free), and that's not something I'm used to. The show itself kicked serious ass and I would definitely see Converge again.

I suspect many of the same people who saw Converge will be at the Dillinger show, and I will get to watch them crowd surfing and flailing around again. This will make up for the Gigantour fiasco.

I can't believe how damn busy I am with school. Most of it is really boring too, so I have no incentive to work, other than to not fail. I HATE SENG 443! The only class I really like is SENG 311, which deals with the process of object-oriented analysis and design. It is probably the most useful class I'm taking and despite the class name, is actually really interesting. The prof is awesome too.

Everybody has to come to the Halloween cabaret that my band Tunesmith is putting on. It's on Saturday, Oct. 29 at the North Glenmore Community Association, costs $20 to get in, and starts at 8ish. There will be drinks, eats, and a costume contest. Tickets can be purchased from me in advance or at the door.

Now for some fun:

• This correspondance is freaking amazing. This guy's ex-girlfriend (3 years apart) sent him this crazy-ass letter asking him to leave town so they don't run into each other. That letter is funny in itself, but his reply letter takes the cake. Read it!
• Sony has patented a theory they developed for communicating electronically with the human brain. It is non-intrusive (unlike in the Matrix) and uses magnetic waves. They plan to use it for video games, movies, etc. to allow people to feel like they're actually in the virtual world. I will make a prediction for the probable outcome of this technology: Geeks will become addicted to this form of entertainment, much like with Everquest, and will live primarily in these virtual worlds where they all look like Orlando Bloom and Angelina Jolie. Their real lives will serve only for nourishment, disposing of waste, and sleeping, reserving the rest of life for "interacting" with other "humans" in the virtual world. They will all remain virgins, no matter how many times they have "sex" with Angelina or Orlando.

That's all forks.

The music Gods are with me.

Posted by Johnny at 11:51 a.m.

DEP is playing Mac Hall on November 14, and I have my ticket, which was only $20 + $6 in "convenience" charges! This will make up for the Gigantour fiasco because they are the headliners and thus will be playing a longer set. Woo!

Ubuntu linux is treating me well so far. The only complaint I have is that there isn't a truly decent media player for the linux platform. There are a couple that are OK, but nothing that rivals foobar. Oh well. I think the best solution would be to buy at least 2 more computers, but that probably won't happen any time soon. I still want to get a new set of drums.

Here's the fun stuff:

• This quiz is so accurate, it's scary. It's like one of those things you get forwarded to you by people you don't like, except this one doesn't rely on math tricks or anything to give a 100% accurate prediction. Check it out.
• I'm never working for Microsoft. They had to completely scrap their code for the new OS they're making because it was too buggy and was haphazardly put together. Coding standards? What are those? Looks like they got it together, but I don't consider not having to work over the holidays a reward.

Ok, I really need to do some serious homework.

Quick poke at bush.

Posted by Johnny at 9:15 p.m.

Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm talking about Dubya.

Bush told those gathered for the governor's meeting: “We look forward to hearing your vision so we can more better do our job.”

MORE BETTER DO OUR JOB!

You heard the man. More better do your job, you slacker.

I'm back & blogging.

Posted by Johnny at 10:45 p.m.

Wow, it's really been a while.

First off, I was thinking the other day that I'd like to join a club on campus. So I was wandering around the club expo, and Tom & Scott and I spotted the Campus Crusade for Christ club. Neither of us were really interested, but then something clicked: that's a lot of hard C's in that title. Why not replace them with K's and reveal your true intent?

So, that club has now been dubbed the Kampus Krusade for Khrist. A victory against both the English language and anyone who feels the need to restart the crusades of the dark ages. This is the year 2005, people - we don't need to crusade for anything, much less krusade.

Disclaimer: I realize that 99% of Christians are probably not neo-nazis, so I'm sorry if that offended anyone. But, I'm really not here to please.

Ok, back to the news.

• Jon Stewart & the Daily Show won 2 Emmys. Woo! That show deserves a gold medal in something too, but I guess the Emmys will have to do. He also did a great pre-taped rant that either he so obviously censored himself. Best last line ever: George Bush hates Black *Sabbath*, where Sabbath was overdubbed.
• Hmm, apparently one Chrisitan Rock band is actually being productive. One of the guys from Switchfoot is teaching their fans how to disable copy protection on their new CD. Down with RIAA! Up with Switchfoot??? We'll see about that one.
  
• Sex & Drugs (but not rock & roll) create more depression in teenage girls than in guys. This British study says abstinence is good for the mind, but I would beg to differ. I don't want people getting depressed or anything, but still...
• On a related topic, apparently 14% of women in late teens / early 20s have had erotic experiences with the same sex. Wow! That's more than I would have thought, not that I think about it or anything.
• Lastly, some software developer wants to put a human colony on Mars by 2025. This sounds like a scam to me. "Give me all your money so I can go to Mars. Oh did I say Mars? I meant Cuba."
  

Word verification back on.

Posted by Johnny at 7:51 p.m.

Sorry to do this, but I turned word verification off on the comments for a day, and I got 3 automated advertisement comments. I really don't want those on my site, so I just turned word verification on again.

Intelligent Design, Schmintelligent Schmdesign.

Posted by Johnny at 6:24 p.m.

Wow, I was just watching the Daily Show and they're running their "Evolution Schmevolution" week. They showed clips of these "professors" of theology talking about intelligent design and made lots and lots of fun of them.

For example: this one alleged Doctor of theology, Kent Hovind, likened mankind to a wristwatch/calculator. He said, "This Casio wristwatch has a clock, a calculator, a daytimer, and a stopwatch. When I went to Japan, I didn't meet the man who designed this, but I'm sure he exists." That was his arguement. His entire arguement!

Oh my God! That was so profound! You mean, someone actually designed that inanimate tool? It didn't evolve from lesser watches over millions of years through mutation and survival of the fittest? Well, if that watch was designed by someone, clearly we as humans were designed by a supreme being as well, because logically speaking, if one thing in the universe was designed by someone, everything in the universe was designed by someone. This is irrefutable logic, and I will dig up my logic textbook from the PHIL 279 class I took last year to prove it.

Afterwards, Lewis Black did some digging into the credentials of this "doctor". Naturally, if someone called themselves Doctor Jerk, you would assume that they had a doctorate degree in something, whether it be theology, science, or jerking off... it doesn't really matter as long as they actually have a doctorate. And the last time I checked, to get a doctorate and call yourself a doctor, you need to complete a thesis in a Phd program at an accredited university or college.

This doesn't mean that you can just earn a fucking teaching certificate from Patriot Bible University and call yourself a doctor!

Yes, this is where that wristwatch-worshipping "doctor" of theology earned his title. He has a certificate of teaching from that "university", so now he is a "doctor".

Ok, that's enough ranting for now. Stay skeptical! Also, Kent Hovind sucks!

Reid is my God on Friday.

Posted by Johnny at 4:26 p.m.

Ok, this is a quick post to inform the public that I will be worshipping Reid as my personal God on Friday, September 16. This is because he found someone with an uglier unibrow than my ENCM professor.

All hail Reid! (tomorrow)

I actually respect Kalan Porter.

Posted by Johnny at 7:33 p.m.

I saw a bit of the Canadian Idol finale tonight and Kalan Porter was playing fiddle on "The Devil Went Down To Georgia", and he actually rocked. I have great respect for anyone that can rock out on fiddle, and he is certainly one of those people. I officially apologize for all the times I called him Frodo and put quotations anywhere in his name. I still don't like any of his singles, but his skill on the fiddle make up for it - I'd jam with him any day in the vein of the Mahavishnu Orchestra.

Ok, now for some news.

• Apparently Google Earth threatens democracy. The Register has some interesting pics taken directly from Google Earth that show close-ups of some South Korean, Thai, and Australian military bases. You can actually see the US-bought planes with near-shocking clarity. I'm so impressed... maybe they can use Google Earth to find Osama once they incorporate the privacy invading technologies of microscopic zoom and X-Ray vision.
• Always bring ear plugs to concerts and try to get sound isolating headphones. This article says that headphones are detrimental to your hearing, especially when listening at high volumes and for long periods of time. I know you have to crank regular headphones to block out ambient noise, but this causes more problems than it solves. Look into a set of sound isolating ear buds, like the ones from Shure, because they passively block out external noise, allowing you to listen to your music at a much lower volume. I own the E3's and they are fantastic, but the E4's are probably a better buy. They are great to take to concerts too, because they reduce the ambient noise and you can hear the band on stage more clearly.
• Coolest bug ever. It eats away a fish tongue and then takes its place, presumably eating the fish's food. This is one Reid should post on his site and discuss on a more in-depth level than I could ever do.
• The church is continually losing my respect. They held an exorcist convention in Vatican City recently, at which the pope spoke and commended them for the important service they provide to the world. Important Service?!? What the fuck!? I hardly call tricking the mentally ill into believing they are possessed an important service. Fuck, I could do an exorcism: toss some holy water here, say some shit in Latin, yell at the devil a bit - it would be a grand old time. Hmm, maybe I should exorcise George W. Bush. He could use a good talking to.
• Haha, these kids in Pensylvania are doing some interesting fundraising for New Orleans at their school. They're playing Mmm Bop (by Hanson) through the school's PA system before class, at breaks, and basically any chance that they get. The idea is you donate money to Stop The Bop. Once they raise $3000, it will stop. How I pity those poor souls who have to listen to that garbage many times per day. I would probably donate the full $3000 after hearing it the first time.

Ok, that's it for now, I have to get some reading done. Fuck I hate reading.

First day of classes...

Posted by Johnny at 6:14 p.m.

...was bleh. I had 1 cool prof (with a mullet), 2 average profs, and 1 with a thick accent and an even thicker unibrow. I couldn't believe how thick his unibrow was - it was even thicker than his mustache! He really needs an eyebrow wax because I'm going to be staring at that all semester instead of paying attention in class.

Anyway, got a Jazz Orchestra audition tonight, so I won't be posting a lot of news at the moment. I just wanted to post about the unibrow because it was really weird. Here's a picture:


He actually has a mustache now, so try to picture that. Also, I'm sure he's a great guy and everything, and I have nothing against him. I just want to point out the fact that he needs to befriend his tweezers.

I'll post something better later.

Vitae Vera & Drowning Lessons

Posted by Johnny at 6:48 p.m.

Just a quick post to plug some other blogs that are good. First, my friend Reid's blog, Vitae Vera is a scientific news & opinion blog that will probably end up being another creationism/evolution blog, says he. Second, Drowning Lessons is my friend Sara's blog in which she logs her life's events and her poetry. It's become kind of like a soap opera to me, because her life is way more interesting than mine.

Always empty your pockets

Posted by Johnny at 3:21 p.m.

Yeah... Apparently I left my cell phone in my shorts pocket without realizing it, and then those shorts proceeded to get washed with my 101 shirt in the laundry. That had a really negative effect on my cell phone, as you can imagine. I picked up a new one today for about $170, so I'm available to be contacted 24/7 once again (unfortunately). The phone itself has some really nice features and it looks pretty snazzy too. I opted for a basic model because I really don't need my phone to have a camera, an mp3 player, a dvd player, or a tazer.

I just bought a ticket to see Converge [wikipedia] at Mac Hall on Sept 28, which will hopefully help to relieve my disappointment about Gigantour that I suffered last week. I can only imagine how good Converge will be live, but if they put as much effort into their live show as as they do in their studio material, then the house should be rocking like crazy. If the Mars Volta or DEP were to play Mac Hall, I'd be first in line for tickets.

Now for some news:

• Girls who eat breakfast have lower body mass indices. If you eat a good breakfast with cereal, you are less likely to be starving at lunch time and can make better choices. I can't stand it when girls don't eat or when they ration their food to lose non-existant weight. Looking like you're anorexic is not attractive and neither is eating plain lettuce for every meal of the day. So girls, please eat and if you just want to be healthy, get some exercise by walking, jogging, biking, playing sports, etc...
• This German guy made a beer with 24.5% alcohol that you should only consume in shot sizes. It's being touted as the world's strongest beer, and he expects the Boston Brewing Company to retaliate. Mmmmmm, beer.
• Bic is doing quite well. Apparently they just sold their 100 billionth pen on Thursday, and have sold 57 pens per second on average since 1950. Wow, that's a lot of pens.

Hmm, that's it for now, but I'll post something intelligent later this weekend.

By the way, happy Birthday Sara! You're now legal everwhere in the world, so make good use of that.

Out of the loop

Posted by Johnny at 7:53 p.m.

Ok, so I went to Gigantour today to see the Dillinger Escape Plan. I couldn't care less about Megadeath, Anthrax, Nevermore, or Fear Factory. I had a miserable experience waiting for DEP to come on because I had to listen to Nevermore and Boboflex or something stupid like that. I thought something might be wrong when DEP didn't come on after the 2nd band because they aren't really that popular. So I asked someone, and they said that Ben Weimann rebroke his arm and DEP couldn't finish the tour.

FUCK!

I was so amazingly pissed off. Not only did I have to listen to 2 fucking awful metal bands and a bit of Fear Factory (who sucked), I didn't get to see one of my favourite bands. I wasn't even mad about the money I wasted, I just wanted to see them perform.

Oh well, I'll try to catch them the next time they do Vans Warped. I'm too pissed off to write anything meaninful tonight, sorry.

We live in a computer.

Posted by Johnny at 1:23 a.m.

Yes, I mean that literally and no, I'm not insane. Allow me to explain from the beginning:

Ok, so I was reading about discrete space-time recently for some reason, and at first they lost me at "renormalization". But then after I waded through the scientific stuff that I don't understand (read: 99% of the material), I had an interesting thought.

If you're unfamiliar with this theory, a discrete space-time would mean that there is a physical limit on how small matter could be subdivided. Many believe this size to be 10^-35 meters, which is the Planck length or something. So basically under this theory, space is a 3 dimensional lattice in which matter passes through, but the matter does not move continuously through that lattice. Instead, each Planck chunk (1 x 1 x 1 Plank lengths) jumps from one cell in that lattice to the next. There is no in-between: matter jumps from one point in space to the next, but because it is so small, it appears to be a continuous motion.

I know what you're thinking: "Ok, this is pretty boring. Why do we live in a computer?" Well, I'll tell you.

For this theory to be correct, we have to accept the discrete space-time theory. Ok, done. Now, if you've studied computers at all, you would know that they only work with discrete quantities and can only approximate real quantities. So that means in a computer game, for instance, the characters move around in a 3-dimensional environment that appears continuous, but is actually made up of little tiny shaded and rasterized polygons, and is thus discrete.

Also, in computer games, every aspect of the virtual world has pre-defined limits. For instance, maximum travelling speed and the size of the world are all hard or soft-coded into the game. And, to ensure realism, parts of the game that you know exist but you can never reach, like the planet neighbouring your own, are drawn into the world but are never meant to be traveled to.

This lesson in computer games can now be extended into our world. If the discrete space-time theories are true, then our universe is made up of nearly infinitesimal grids, or polygons in gamespeak. We also have a maximum speed, the speed of light (c=3.00 * 10^8 m/s). Ok, this is nothing too fishy, but read on...

From our observations through telescopes we know that our world is surrounded by stars and galaxies that are from 4 to multiple billion light years away. Keeping this in mind, and the fact that traveling at the speed of light is now impossible and would probably kill you if you could do it, doesn't it seem like we will never go anywhere outside of our solar system? I mean, we can't even send a human to Mars yet.

So if it is physically impossible to leave our solar system, how do we know these places actually exist? Yes we can see them, but appearances can be deceiving.

What if some designer on a higher consiousness built our solar system and painted a universe around it? Think about it: our maximum speed is c, but even traveling at c, it would take 4 years to get to the nearest star (Alpha Centauri) and we know that it is pretty much impossible to go that fast. Thus, it would take us hundreds of thousands of years to get there traveling at conventional speeds. Impossible.

Are you catching my drift yet? We live in discrete space-time and have a finitely accessible universe, both of which could be digitized and stored in a computer. Infinity and continuousness are just illusions to keep us from catching on. We could, and possibly do live in a computer simulation. It isn't the Matrix, it's more like the 13th Floor but on a larger scale. We are artificially intelligent and God is a really clever software engineer on a higher consiousness level.

Of course, I don't really believe this, but it's a cool idea. I won't get into my explanation of miracles, religion, etc as they pertain to this theory because you can make those connections yourselves.

Talking to the Internet

Posted by Johnny at 1:15 p.m.

Mmm, I love getting 10.5 hours of sleep. Nothing like completely wasting a Sunday.

Anyway, some good stuff up ahead:

• Ever wanted to talk to the Internet? Well, some guy wrote this program that scans search engines for plausible answers to questions that a person might ask, and presents it as an MSN chat interface. The only question I asked that got a reasonable answer was "What is the fastest land animal?"
• Some guy wants to be sent 1 million pennies by people around the world. Not a bad way to make $10,000. I'm going to make another site: Send Me Dollars. I doubt it will be as successful.
• Haha. Is this a joke, or is it a luddite from the religious right?
• These parents are terrible, but it is soooooo funny. Those kids will be scarred for life.
  

Cellphones are the Devil, and more!

Posted by Johnny at 9:48 p.m.

Haha, are you noticing a trend? Maybe I'm Kathy Bates role in the Waterboy in disguise.. That would really throw off a lot of people.

• Apparently, cell phone usage may or may not cause brain tumors, but just to be safe, keep your call lengths to a minimum. Also, don't get cell phones for your kids until they've lived a full enough life. This means that everone who uses a cell as their primary phone may or may not be at increased exposure to brain tumors. So when you do or do not get a brain tumor, don't come complaining to me.
• Ever wonder how they classify hurricanes?
• Go DVD Jon! This Norwegian hacker-type reverse engineered Microsoft's encryption algorithm that prevents WMV files from being played on anything other than windows media player. I doubt I would ever take advantage of this hack, but I'm just glad he is sticking it to the man.
  

George W. Bush is the Devil.

Posted by Johnny at 11:37 a.m.

Lucifer, Satan, Diablo, and now Bush. Another moniker for the Prince of Darkness has been added to the list. Forget the Nazi Pope - this is the real deal.

Why am I making this bold claim? Well, if you have been watching CNN at all recently, you would see what a fucking idiot this president is and how unwilling he is to help the poor people of Louisiana. On the news, when black people are shown searching for food the caption reads "Looting"; white people are "Searching for food".

And why would Bush want to help these people anyways? They're poor, they don't fit in with his tax plan, and if they all die, he can give tax breaks to his rich Texan oil buddies (Hell's minions). So not only does he just not care, he wants the Lousianans to die. This is a planned genocide of poor black people in the southern US - they knew for days that a hurricane was coming and they had been planning for something like this for years. The whole cause of this current catastrophy is the fact that the situation was handled so poorly, almost as if it was done on purpose.

So I hope George Bush (the Devil) sleeps well in his silk pajamas as he ass-fucks himself with his pitchfork, knowing that he has begun the systematic elimination of an entire region in his own country. Move over Hitler, Stalin, and Ivan the Terrible - we have a new contender.

Better than before.

Posted by Johnny at 8:21 p.m.

Yep, we're together again. I was doubtful at first, but it turns out we just needed to communicate, as always. I think I learned a lot through this experience and it really forced me to think about how much the relationship means to me.

Here's a lesson for every couple: communicate often, as in once per month absolute minimum. And not just small talk, actual meaningful discussion. Guys may shudder at first, but it'll be worth it if you really care about that girl.

Now for a lighter tone:

• Ever wonder how much those photos of models are touched up? Here's a great showcase for the art of touch-ups. The original images appear when you roll over the touch-ups.
• This is one of the funniest transcripts I've ever read! Cybersex attempts gone bad...
  

Are second chances possible?

Posted by Johnny at 11:46 p.m.

I hope they are, because I'm 60-72% sure that I'm going to get one. And if it's the only one I get, I'll be happy.

Aside from feeling terrible today and getting into an accident tonight (the first one that has been my fault), I actually feel pretty good right now. First of all, the accident was a 1 km/h rear-end near my house that the other guy let go due to little damage. Thank you sir! I love you!

Then, after getting to moderator training late, Kathryn makes eye contact and smiles at me, which was totally unexpected. Afterwards, she drove me home and I talked at her during the entire ride. I say 'at' because I asked her just to listen as I poured my heart out. Anyway, the details aren't important, but we were both in pretty good spirits at the end of the ride, and I think there is a possibility for a second chance. This is all thanks to the talks I got from Reid, Sara, and my mom - they were all very supportive and gave good advice on how to approach this.

Hmm, I don't feel like searching the virals tonight, but if the mood strikes me later, I'll put something funny up.