New and exciting

Posted by Johnny at 12:49 p.m.

My laptop has shipped! Fuck yeah! It's coming from China, but I suspect it will be here by Friday since I spent the extra $20 for 2-day shipping. All I have to do is survive my midterms and assignments then I can start enjoying this (anti)productivity tool.

I'm probably going to pick up some congas next weekend and MAYBE order the drumset I've been drooling over for months, but that's a big maybe.

Ok, here's something I haven't done in a while:

• Some guys in San Fran set up an actual Fight Club, in which they beat each other with everything from plastic utensils to toilet seats. That's just a little bit fucked up. I really don't get it - where is the fun in getting your ass kicked by someone with a baking pan? Maybe I'm just not aggressive enough, who knows...
• I'm glad I don't live in Columbia, but not for the reason you may think (drugs). This male chauvanist-type is under house arrest for 4 years (!!) for slapping a woman's ass while he rode by her on his bike. What the FUCK? 4 YEARS?!?! If that punishment was relevant in Canada and it was cumulative, I'm pretty sure Jason Toye would be under house arrest for at least 3 lifetimes after all the times he slapped Liz Paul's ass in high school. "Good story Jason."
• The word Brokeback was apparently the most popular word of 2005. Really? How about "the"? What THE fuck is wrong with THE word "the"? Here's a sentence, replacing "the" with "Brokeback". Yesterday, I went to Brokeback store and bought Brokeback biggest box of condoms Brokeback store had for sale, because Brokeback wife is out of town and Brokeback mistress and I are going for Brokeback world record. Doesn't seem to work, does it? The other words in the top five were Brangelina, petronoia, tuxedo, and pimping. We live in a shallow, shallow world.

What's the craziest thing you've ever done in bed?

Posted by Johnny at 4:20 p.m.

I guarantee it isn't anything like this. Don't worry, it's safe for work.

Should I laugh or cry?

Posted by Johnny at 11:46 p.m.

Watch this video.

If you don't have time, I'll give you a summary:

A German kid is playing a video game and his computer is not responding or something. Kid goes quickly from mad, to irate, to fucking INSANE. I don't know what he's screaming, but in a couple years he could join a German hardcore band.

You should watch until the very end if you want to see what it takes to destroy a keyboard.

Don't do what Johnny Don't does

Posted by Johnny at 2:32 p.m.

Johnny Don't #314 :

Don't do what Johnny Don't does. Don't see (or communicate with) your recently ex'd girlfriend/boyfriend for a long, long time. It just makes things easier.

I decided to drop off Kathryn's spare keys today at around 1:30 because I thought she would be at work. Oh, how I was wrong. Her door was open for some reason and she saw me come up to the door, so she invited me in for a bit. Against my better judgement, I went in and we talked (well, I was trying pretty hard not to lose it so the words weren't quite flowing). To make things worse, her dogs were jumping all over me as if to say, "Where the hell have you been, human male #3?"

Fuck. Why did I go in? That's the last time I do that for a long, long time. I'll have to be craftier when I get my bass back from her brother - the goal will be not to see Kathryn in order to avoid much pain.

So, it looks like my attempts at not writing about this topic have been failing recently. I'll try harder.

Good things about being single

Posted by Johnny at 12:04 a.m.

I'm just trying to keep positive:

1. Hygine. Since breakup, I've stopped shaving for spans of > 4 days and no one has complained. I realize that some girls like facial hair, but I'm not used to that at all. This doesn't mean, however, that I've stopped showering regularly. It's not like I want to remain single.
   
   
2. Scheduling. I don't really have to think about anyone's schedule except my own. Maybe I'll paint the town red tonight, maybe I won't. Who knows?
   
   
3. Free time. Not that this was an issue before, but I have maybe 30 minutes to an hour of extra free time per week. Unfortunately, this is usually spent slacking off.
   
   
4. No insecurity. No longer do I have to spend time brainstorming the reasons behind her silent treatments / anger.
   
   
5. Flirting. I can flirt with women without feeling guilty. I'm not saying this has happened yet, but it could in theory.

Ok, do you want the truth? Being single blows, for the most part. The best thing that's come out of it is that I've been spending a ton of time with friends (mostly Reid), and that's been awesome.

I've been trying to focus on the bad periods that we had (and complain about those) instead of dwelling on the good times, but those good memories still creep in every so often. I just don't want to miss her.

Here's a question: how long do you have to wait to start dating again before they aren't considered a rebound? There haven't been any rebounds / flings yet, but I'm not really trying very hard. I'm still waiting to hear from that undisclosed person Down Under. Recent findings indicate that the Australian semester doesn't start for a week or two, which triggered a memory that she was going to travel around the country with her friends for a month or so before school started. Thus, hope is not lost yet...

OK, I'm going to bed. BTW, give Russia a motherfucking tracksuit. Now Gretsky can shift his attention to the massive scandal he left back home. Yay.

Some random thoughts on love

Posted by Johnny at 1:37 a.m.

(This is in response to Sara's post: at least my pants still fit)

I seem to recall the term "serial monogamy," which is essentially what harvest was describing: a maximum of one partner (love/sexual) at any given time. I think religious and cultural influences (in the West) over thousands of years have shaped our nurturing to view monogamy as desirable, with the exception of some Mormon communities.

Why is this? Well, I don't know enough about cultural history to formally theorize, but I think jealousy is the key. Right around the time that Bibles and Qurans were being written, men dominated society. These men had power over their wives and they were afraid of losing that power. Thus, adultery became a sin (especially for women) and was brutally enforced, though was obviously not followed by everyone.

This belief of monogamy persisted throughout the value shifts that our society has experienced and is still a pillar of traditional partnerships.

Monogamy is usually tied to sex because sex is easy to define (unless you're Bill Clinton). Love, however, is a much more complex entity - an emotion that has a variety of definitions, dimensions, and types. In the sense that two unrelated people love each other romantically, whether sex is involved or not, this is also usually considered within the realm of monogamy.

In regards to harvest's comment that you cannot love two people in the same way simultaneously, I'm not as convinced. I think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time for a significant period of time. This usually inspires confusion, however, and it is difficult to keep up the feelings before a choice has to be made. The choice is not for the benefit of the person torn between the two, but for the two others, assuming they both value monogamy.

The reason I believe this is possible is because I have experienced a similar situation for the past couple of years. I was in a monogamous relationship for just under 3 years until recently, but during that time I had overwhelming feelings not only for my partner but for another woman too. I felt very strongly for both of them, but I chose to stay with my partner for reasons that I still can't explain. My relationship with the other woman never progressed to the physical stage and I'm not even sure if she felt the same way about me emotionally, but my feelings for her remained, albiet pushed into the back of my mind.

Now that the relationship I previously chose has ended, I still don't know if the choice I made was right and I probably won't ever know. I don't regret my decision at all, but if I fail to begin the relationship I could have had with the other woman I will be left forever wondering what could have been.

(I seem to have strayed from the topic of monogamy. I'm back now.) Throughout all of this, it was my belief in monogamy that prevented me from actually starting any kind of tangible relationship with the other woman before ending my current relationship. Had I acted differently, the results would have been disaterous for everone involved. That, in my opinion, would have been far worse than the fact that I may be left wondering for the rest of my life.

Give this man a tracksuit!

Posted by Johnny at 7:36 p.m.

Edmonton kicked serious ass! Reid and I had so much fun, most of which I can remember.

We started off on Saturday afternoon and picked up some JD and a 15-pack of Kokanee. After getting a pizza and drinking a bit, we walked over to U of A res and tried to find parties. Thanks to reading week, the place was DEAD, but we found one of his friends to play pool with. This guy became my hero, but it was partly due to my intoxication. Afterwards, we just headed back to Reid's condo, shotgunned some beer, talked and went to bed.

On Sunday we ventured to West Ed and wandered around for a few hours. We saw a talent competition that hosted mainly mediocre country singers who SUCK at writing lyrics. There was, however, a 9-year-old girl whose voice kicked the shit out of anyone there - Reid and I wanted to give her a recording contract. I'm pretty sure she had perfect pitch too. But this other guy came on stage dressed like some whiney emo kid, started jumping around with his acoustic guitar singing (poorly) this shitty song he wrote and then started beatboxing. Wow, what a loser. But he did have stage presence.

After grabbing some fajitas and ice cream, we headed back home and began a night of drunken conversation. We now have so much dirt on each other it isn't even funny (well, it's pretty funny). Luckily, blackmail is out of the question since the severity of information is equally distributed on both sides. Finally, after some drunken internet surfing we pretty much passed out.

Monday was less eventful, except for the idiots who delayed our bus by close to an hour because they were idiots.

Sitting on my ass playing guitar

Posted by Johnny at 11:00 p.m.

I'm a big fan of relaxing. I probably shouldn't be doing that now with so many deadlines looming over my head, but I'm doing it anyway.

I had a rehearsal at the U of C tonight and I ran into my old friend Liz, who was looking fine as ever. I'm going to try and trick her into going out for drinks with me (not a date, though) because I probably wouldn't have been able to do that if I wasn't single. I think I'm starting to warm up to this situation...

So here's something that I was thinking about recently: I call this Learn Me Math More Better, by George W. Bush.

Ramping up the math and science programs in US public schools was a top priority listed in Bush's State of the Union Address. But according to this article (Math Crisis? What Crisis?), the majority of parents in the US don't really think their children need more math and science.

{ At this point, I will refrain from sarcastically linking Science to Satan. }

Most people will hardly ever use pure math or a detailed knowledge of science during their life span. After all, most of the jobs listed in the paper are not math/science related and the last time I checked, I didn't use Calculus to tie my shoes.

But this doesn't mean that math and science are not important.

Where would we be without the advances in science and math that occurred throughout the ages? I guess we'd be back in those ages... yeah.

So despite the fact that Bush is an idiot and probably won't be able to execute his plan, he is in the right mindframe in terms of upping the ante in math and science education. This time it is the parents who are wrong. Even though it may seem useless to most people, there are a few children who are smart enough to take advantage of a good science base and later pursue areas of research. Who knows, there could be a child today somewhere in the US that will one day discover cold fusion, assuming he gets a good scientific education in the public system.

I don't want to start making all sorts of wild predictions, but the US is not on the right track in terms of keeping their superpower status. Sure things may look good now, but with religious governments hampering research, wacked-out foreign policies justifying war on any nation, and an increasing dependence on foreign oil, the US has their work cut out for them.

China, Japan, and India are set to be the next powers of the world, and as long as Canada can keep Alberta and the oil sands to itself, we should be in pretty good shape too.

"A Little Too Far" - A Rant

Posted by Johnny at 11:15 p.m.

The cartoons depicting Muhammad may have gone too far for Muslims, but the rioting does not make up for it. This article of news has been beaten to death by other bloggers and less credible news sources (CNN), so I won't post any links - at least any that pertain to the state of Islam.

These cartoons may have been offensive to Muslims, but I'm pretty sure there have been more offensive drawings of other religious figures throughout history.

One that immediately comes to mind appeared on a movie version of the best (arguably) comedy on TV. Here's the link. Christians without senses of humour: beware. Here's another one. And another.

So, which is worse? The relatively tame drawings of Muhammad in the newspaper, or Jesus demonstrating his "powers" to a crowd of believers. Well, it all depends on who you are and where you live.

In the west, we often take for granted that we live in a society where we can poke fun at religion and politics without being stoned to death or bombed. We can also defend ourselves from rapists without fear of being hanged. So when we see the reaction in the Muslim world to drawings that are offensive to Islam, we think, "Are you fucking crazy?" But we will never truly understand a mindset and culture that is so different from our own, so the only thing we can do is try to respect theirs and hope they do the same with ours.

There is, however, a global reform that I would like to see in my lifetime:

Religion should not be used as a basis for government or its legal system.

Most religions are hundreds or thousands of years old. And still, the fundamentalists are clinging to these ancient value systems that were only relevant when women were truly objects and the number zero did not yet exist. This is not only the case in Islamic countries, but also in the US.

Bush is trying to, and succeeding in, introducing fundamentalist Christianity into the US government. Every abortion doctor that is murdered, every child who learns Intelligent Design instead of Evolution, every gay couple who is denied a marriage license, and every poor hurricane victim who is told that God is punishing them is a victim of the Ultra-Christianization of the United States.

Governments should only be built upon a system of secular ethics (as best they can). This system of morality examines which actions are wrong not by asking which actions offend God, but by asking which actions are inherently wrong. For instance, killing someone out of hatred or passion is wrong because it is wrong, not because it goes against the Ten Commandments. On the other hand, killing someone in self defense is not wrong / gray area because it is justifiable according to ethics, but still against the Ten Commandments.

Of course, ethics are the most complicated basis for morality because it is open to all sorts of interpretations. Take, for example, the situation with the RIAA and digital music. Is it right for the RIAA to sue individual users for downloading mp3's? No. Is it right for people to "steal" music by downloading it? No.

In all honesty, I won't see this change in my lifetime - in fact, it might get worse before it gets better. All I can do is hope that all the decent people in the world will stand up for themselves and not let fundamentalists of any kind take over the world. They can believe whatever they want, but they have no right to force those beliefs on anyone else, including me.

Close to normal (whatever that is)

Posted by Johnny at 9:00 p.m.

With the minor exception of running into a certain person in Engineering A on Friday, I'm doing pretty good. Friends are important - Reid, Sara, Tomscott, everyone else: thank you.

I'm almost ready to start dating again, I think. The person I've had a major crush on for the last 2.5 years is spending the semester in Australia, so that will give me a couple months to fully recover before I ask her out. I don't expect her to be interested, but I'd really kick myself later if I never found out if she's shared the crush. I emailed her last week, but no response yet - she doesn't check email very often when she's in Calgary and she might not even have a computer down under, so I don't expect a response for a while.

I can't wait to get my new drums! First of all, the laptop is on its way soon, so that's going to be cool. I think I'll head down to L&M during reading week and see what Andrew Clark can do for me in terms of ordering a set of Pearl Reference drums. I'd like to get some congas and some new cymbals too, but that's really getting expensive.

Speaking of reading week, I'm heading down to Edmonton to party HC with Reid on the first weekend. Regardless of whether we find any actual parties to go to, we'll probably be too drunk for hangovers. Good times indeed.

Ok, I haven't link dumped in a long time, so here it comes:

• This stupid Filipino guy incited a riot outside of a stadium by shouting "BOMB!". What a fucking idiot. This stunt got about 75 people killed and ~300 injured. This is why we don't shout "BOMB" or "Hijack" or "Jihad" in airports or other densely crowded areas. Idiot.
  
  Oh that reminds me. I can now declare "Jayhad" or "J-had" on my enemies. So you better stay on my good side, bitches! :) j/k
  
• I guess I need to get laid because I can certainly read this T-Shirt. No one should EVER use leet-speak. Ever. Especially during sex (unless you're role-playing, in which case that would be pretty fucking hot - especially if the girl really knew her stuff).
  
• An elderly blind woman in the UK had a heart attack and then regained her sight. Miracle? Probably not, but it's still pretty cool. The first thing she said to her husband when she woke up was, "Haven't you got old." BURN!
  
  
• Finally, I'm awarding yet another Jgoz.net seal of Approval to this guy. He was charged for reckless engagement on the road because he was forcing people off the road and driving erratically. Why this behaviour, you ask? He was leafing through porn mags! That's right, this motherfucker was jackin' it to some (low) quality magazines WHILE driving on a freeway. He definitely deserves this award, hands down.

That about does it for now. Wish me luck with my overseas more-than-a-friend. I may need it...