New and exciting

Posted by Johnny at 12:49 p.m.

My laptop has shipped! Fuck yeah! It's coming from China, but I suspect it will be here by Friday since I spent the extra $20 for 2-day shipping. All I have to do is survive my midterms and assignments then I can start enjoying this (anti)productivity tool.

I'm probably going to pick up some congas next weekend and MAYBE order the drumset I've been drooling over for months, but that's a big maybe.

Ok, here's something I haven't done in a while:

• Some guys in San Fran set up an actual Fight Club, in which they beat each other with everything from plastic utensils to toilet seats. That's just a little bit fucked up. I really don't get it - where is the fun in getting your ass kicked by someone with a baking pan? Maybe I'm just not aggressive enough, who knows...
• I'm glad I don't live in Columbia, but not for the reason you may think (drugs). This male chauvanist-type is under house arrest for 4 years (!!) for slapping a woman's ass while he rode by her on his bike. What the FUCK? 4 YEARS?!?! If that punishment was relevant in Canada and it was cumulative, I'm pretty sure Jason Toye would be under house arrest for at least 3 lifetimes after all the times he slapped Liz Paul's ass in high school. "Good story Jason."
• The word Brokeback was apparently the most popular word of 2005. Really? How about "the"? What THE fuck is wrong with THE word "the"? Here's a sentence, replacing "the" with "Brokeback". Yesterday, I went to Brokeback store and bought Brokeback biggest box of condoms Brokeback store had for sale, because Brokeback wife is out of town and Brokeback mistress and I are going for Brokeback world record. Doesn't seem to work, does it? The other words in the top five were Brangelina, petronoia, tuxedo, and pimping. We live in a shallow, shallow world.